Is it possible to hate the Lakers more than you (me, you, everyone…) already do?
Two days after arguably the most shocking (see unimaginable, laughable, nonsensical, hacked…) trade in the history of sports, the answer is unequivocally yes.
Seriously. What is it with the Lakers? How does such luck find them? Why do the basketball gods continuously bless LaLaLand’s favorite cageballers?
There’s not a soul outside of Maverick GM Nico Harrison’s personal office who understands the trade that sent generational-talent Luka Doncic, a 25-year-old perennial MVP candidate who may or may not care for wind sprints but has only been outscored per game by Michael Jordan and Wilt Chamberlain, to the Los Angeles Lakers for 32-year-old Anthony Davis, a player who has averaged 54 games-played per season in L.A. and couldn’t even get LeBron James over the hump, plus a first-rounder in 2029, a pick that will inevitably slide closer to No. 30 than No. 1 under Doncic’s watch.
Brad Botkin of CBS Sports might have summed it up best:
“Factoring in both age and production, the Lakers just scored what is probably the most coveted basketball player in the world not named Victor Wembanyama. Doncic is only 25 years old. To land a player this good and this young in a trade is absolutely bonkers. You honestly might never see a score again like this in your lifetime.”
And of course, the Lakers are the recipient.
Just when you thought LeBron James – the most hate-able superstar in all of sports – was about to drown in his own horrific general managering, he gets bailed out. Why? Because the Mavericks are worried about Doncic’s weight.
Huh?
By all accounts, there are plenty of other teams in the NBA who could have constructed a more favorable offer for the Mavericks. But, as luck tends to have in L.A. Doncic was reportedly never even shopped around. Nope. Just one call to the Lakers, and wham, bam, thank you ma’am, L.A. is suddenly formidable long after James decides to hang ‘em up.
As a lifelong Nuggets fan, I’m a conspiracy theorist by nature when it comes to the NBA. But for the life of me, I can’t figure this one out or come up with a lone conspirator. Adam Silver couldn’t have called in a favor this big. Jeanie Buss couldn’t possibly have a photo incriminating enough that would lead Nico Harrison to such a head-scratcher. And why would the Mavericks, or any team in the NBA for that matter, want to help out the Lakers? (Why would any team?). Perhaps David Stern, rest his soul, made one too many deals with the Devil as the Association’s commissioner, and somehow, someway, we’re all paying up now?
The Nuggets, as currently constructed, don’t look like a true title contender, as they did in 2023. Even if they wanted to, it would be nearly impossible to get better (as Ryan Blackburn so perfectly outlined in his breakdown prior to the Doncic-Davis trade).
The Lakers, as constructed about 48 hours ago, weren’t good enough to win it all, either. Too old. Too tired. Too LeBron-y.
Any team arrogant enough to waste a second-rounder on Bronny James should be feeling the wrath of Karma. Yet, here they are, somehow winning the Luka Doncic Lottery – and apparently nobody else ever had the chance to buy a scratch ticket. Not only are the Lakers better off now –the Lakers’ 2025 championship odds on FanDuel have gone from +4000 before the trade to +1800 after the trade – but they’re practically guaranteed an international megastar so long as they lock up Doncic for the longterm.
Any why wouldn’t they?
Why couldn’t they?
They’re the g** d*** Lakers, the luckiest and most-hate-able team in sports.