The city of Cleveland’s sports misery is beyond well-documented. Type “Last sports championship” into Google and it will autofill “in Cleveland.” No joke.
Also filed in the “well-documented” category is Mile High Sports’ general dislike for the Rockies’ mascot, Dinger. Okay, maybe “dislike” isn’t the right word. Feel free to substitute “loathing,” “hatred” or “vitriol” and you’re probably more on-par.
Yes, Cleveland has been the punching bag for professional sports like Dinger has been the same for Mile High Sports for as long as most anyone can remember. And things aren’t getting better for Cleveland. Over the weekend, the Indians lost a bet that requires they don an avatar of the Rockies mascot for 48 hours after the Browns lost to the Broncos.
The Broncos-Browns nail-biter (here’s a recap link, as if you didn’t watch every snap), made for some great back-and-forth by the clubs throughout.
.@Indians @Browns IT'S ON! Loser must must keep avi for 48 hours. Let's go @Broncos! pic.twitter.com/QpgaoexLhx
— Colorado Rockies (@Rockies) October 18, 2015
Done.
Your AVI is going to look darn good with @SliderTheMascot for two days! https://t.co/Z6xnU1X79t
— Cleveland Guardians (@CleGuardians) October 18, 2015
.@Rockies We picked a good game for this bet, huh? pic.twitter.com/eGEhahBQUe
— Cleveland Guardians (@CleGuardians) October 18, 2015
.@Indians IT'S A @Broncos #WALKOFF! pic.twitter.com/cpTIRUJ08C
— Colorado Rockies (@Rockies) October 18, 2015
.@Rockies @Broncos pic.twitter.com/BkLrS51wvd
— Cleveland Guardians (@CleGuardians) October 18, 2015
.@Indians What a game. Tip of the cap to the @Browns who played a good, hard game. Good luck the rest of the way! pic.twitter.com/pNr8P33jLU
— Colorado Rockies (@Rockies) October 18, 2015
Now, we’ve been justifiably critical of Dinger over the years. His antics behind home plate in the ninth inning of home games is absolutely an embarrassment to the game, but now we’re starting to see just how bad things are in Cleveland, where they’re willing to give up their own mascot and don Dingbat’s ugly mug for 48 hours.
That’s a fate we wouldn’t wish on anyone, until we saw what @SliderTheMascot actually looks like. Defying logic, it seems Cleveland’s mascot might actually be worse than Dinger.
.@SliderTheMascot x 2 pic.twitter.com/e6FVM4Um3x
— Cleveland Guardians (@CleGuardians) September 17, 2015
We’re not sure what this is. At least we know Dinger is a dinosaur. Slider, at our best guess, is a furry eggplant with liver spots. Our best guess is that he/she/it was devised by the same marketing firm (see the poorly played baseball term of a name) that created Dungheap, and Slider played well with the 2-year-old to 6-year-old demographic.
Sorry Cleveland. Maybe this will be LeBron’s year. Though if history is any indicator, it won’t be.